Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
