i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
