is your mom at the bar?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize