those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
