last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
