Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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