I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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