Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
