**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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