I got chris browned last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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