I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
