he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i came on her dog
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
