Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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