They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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