You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
