apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
