So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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