ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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