i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
