just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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