Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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