stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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