I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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