There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize