i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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