there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
