I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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