I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
