Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
