I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Naked. naked and bneed help.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
