then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
