Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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