hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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