how do flat chested girls get laid?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
