i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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