Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
