The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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