Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
