just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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