Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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