Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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