idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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