what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
