SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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