I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
