Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
