please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
worst night to have a conscience
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
