The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
