we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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