Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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