at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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