But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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