you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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