how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
