I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You dont lie about slip and slides
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize