So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i dont even know how to be here
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
