I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
