You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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