idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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