she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So vagazzling was a success
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