I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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