I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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