I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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