Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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